Grog & Dog Jog

The camera loves me as I'm groggin' & doggin' rockin'
the Mississippi mudflap mullet and Wal-Mart t-shirt
[Photo courtesy of Scott Mason Photography]

"There is only one step from the sublime to the ridiculous."  -Napoleon

Providence,  RHODE ISLAND -- They say a picture tells a thousand words.  But no amount of those words can describe the fun that was had at this weekend's Grog & Dog Jog at the Wild Colonial Tavern.  Our buddies from the south, the Tuesday Night Turtles, introduced us to this race last year and we were finally able to accept the invitation to join them this weekend.  In fact, we actually sent two teams of aR "athletes" to see what all the fuss was about.  As a jack of all trades master of none this type of thing fits exceptionally well into my fall transition period.  I'm neither 1.) motivated to train, nor 2.) currently training for anything important so the way I saw it, a 1.25 mile city loop followed by a hot dog and a beer would be the perfect "training" for my planned November shutdown.  Turns out, seven of my other aR teammates felt the same way.  I divided us up into two fairly evenly matched teams with (of course) my team constituting not only the lion share of the runners, but the hungriest doggers to ever order a round of grog.  This one, as they say, would be like taking candy from a baby.  My aR-GOLD included Jon "Where's your shirt?" Letendre, "Super" Sam Watts, Nick "Capt'n Feathersword" Lavoie and of course...me.  aR-BLACK was represented by Nick "Malibu" Langelotti,  "Downhome" Amanda House, Jeremiah "Gettin' Tail" Fitzgibbon, and Craig "What are you a pirate?" Poirier.  The two fastest dudes in the bunch, Jon and Langelotti, led off the race for their respective aR teams.  Jon entered the 'Eatatorium' with about a :30 lead on Nick.  However, not having eaten a hot dog in years cost him dearly as his lead was quickly erased by Nick's engulfing the dog with three swift bites and washing it down with nearly one swig of the warm Narragansett.  And from there it was all downhill for my aR-GOLD.  Jeremiah, always a poor front runner, took off like he was being chased by a pack of crazed dogs nearly :45 seconds ahead of me.  Knowing that he has a tendency to take it out hard and then fade back to me I set off with the plastic mug baton to run him down.  What I didn't account for however, was the jean cutoffs and the mullet.  Both binding and billowing I felt like I couldn't really pick up any momentum which was surely aided by my lack of warm-up and/or the energy drink induced slight state of dehydration.  Nevertheless I averaged 5:53's for the 1.25 mile loop.  Just sayin'.  Unfortunately while I made up a little of his gap it wouldn't be even remotely enough as his gullet-stuffing-mashed-dog-regurgitating-beer-swilling exhibition got a HUGE rise out of the crowd and put us even further behind.  It's funny, I never would have guessed how nauseating the smell of steamed tubular pork product would be immediately following a mile dash.  And I like hot dogs!  Okay, love hot dogs.  Fearing I'd take a large bit of wiener sideways down the esophagus and need to be Heimlich'd by a dude dressed like a nun I decided to play it "safe" and alternated chomping small bites with big gulps of 'Gansett.  How did you spend your Columbus Day weekend thank you?!  As soon as I finished the dog and the grog I handed the mug to "Super" Sam who did her best to catch "Downhome" House but alas it was not aR-GOLD's day.  Craig closed the deal for aR-BLACK as the corduroy clad Lavoie represented himself, his family, and the town of Scarborough, ME proudly with an impressive hot dog eating and beer drinking display.  Our guests from TNT won the event again (yawwwwn) but we were really there for the 'fun of it'.  Who takes these things seriously?  The event was hosted by a tavern so I doubt results will be up soon but it really doesn't matter.  I had a great time GROGGIN acidotic with my 'mates and by the smiles on their faces (and the beers in their hands) after the event I think they did as well.

NEXT UP: "No Brakes" Mountain Bike Race

L-R BACK ROW: Jeremiah,  Langelotti, me, Lavoie
FRONT: Letendre, House, Poirier, Watts